My friend Penny and I have had several conversations recently about what constitutes a complaint. If you say you don’t like something, are you complaining? I don’t think saying one doesn’t like a dish served is a complaint until you call the server to the table and imply intent on someone’s part in ruining your dinner, however subtly. Saying you did not care for a movie is not a complaint unless you bash the person who dragged you to it.
I’m clear about including some things which are nonverbal. And I don’t think living complaint free requires me to become milque toast. Just…nicer.
What do you think?
One commentor mentioned “A Complaint-Free World”. I haven’t read the book, or perused the website, but I have heard of it, and might check out their definition of “complaint”. Check them out at: www.acomplaintfreeworld.org.
Just a note from me: I haven’t figured out how to do links in WP yet, so, my apologies. I’m getting there!
I believe complaining sometimes becomes confused with whining.
I see complaints as a request or a desire for things to be better. I believe complaints have been proven to achieve positive things in recent history.
Whining, otoh, achieves nothing but self pity, bad vibes, and people wanting to get away from the whiner as quickly as possible. It brings only negative changes.
Robyn, whining is definitely on my list of types of complaints that I am abandoning. Now, as for whether complaints are “requests for things to be better”, I actually disagree. I think one can make a request for things to be better without complaining, and one should. But, lest we fall into the hair-splitting debate, when I say “complaint”, I mean criticising other people for something they are doing, saying, or not doing or not saying, in a negative way. Or, whining about people or situations. I do not mean directly asking someone to change their conduct, in a straightforward, reasonable manner. Does that make more sense? If you say, “I cannot believe you brought me this ridiculously small steak!”, you are complaining. If you say, “Excuse me, ma’am, I ordered steak, and you brought me turkey. Would you kindly take this back and bring me the steak that I ordered?” You are not “complaining”, in the sense that I mean. You are merely requesting a correction.
Concur?