I won’t name names, except my own. But today challenged my resolve, I’m here to tell you.
A perfect storm of problems swirled around my brain and nearly caused an explosion. I spent four hours with a client, meticulously refining a complicated settlement document. I slogged through the various back-and-forth exchanges, culling through each paragraph to find every change, the points of agreement, the areas of ambiguity. I examined each nuanced phrase and ferreted out any clause as to which I felt the other side might be waxing coy. Through all of that effort, I devised a lengthy document of which I felt fairly proud.
I spent the next 90 minutes trying to get a digitized copy of that document to move the ten feet between my goldarn fancy scanner/copier and my computer. Had my son not tired of waiting for me to come out of my office to go to lunch, I might be still pulling out my hair. But he came inside, got on his phone’s browser, and discovered gmail had screeched to a hault. I tore out to the secretarial area and lowered a boom on my poor receptionist: “You’ll have to hand-fax using the old landline fax.”
Whereupon I learned that it had stopped working three weeks ago.
I felt my voice rising as I asked how it could be that a piece of equipment had failed THREE WEEKS AGO and yet I had not been told?
My son practically hog-tied me and dragged me to lunch. “Stop yelling at everybody,” he told me. “You’re hungry, come eat.” A cup of hot tea, a “Bread for All” combo appetizer, and an hour later, I found myself walking around my suite, apologizing to anyone who had been within earshot of my melt-down, especially my poor secretary.
I don’t know if this technically qualified as a relapse day, but it came darn close. When the storms subsided, though, at least I realized that in my frustration, hunger, and worry, I had over-stepped the bounds of good grace. And now that the stormy weather passed, and the seas are calm, I’m left wondering how often in the past I have followed just this path.
I’m taking the day as a lesson; and moving forward.