I will not lie.

Some days sparkle; and some days subside into an impenetrable fog from which I struggle to extricate myself.  On the morning after a wretched night of savage pain; on the tail end of a long stretch of absolute silence devoid of human contact; when I strain to see a path in the gloom of a self-imposed darkness — in such times, I must bite my tongue to avoid the inevitable articulation of gross dissatisfaction.

On those dreary days, I seek solace where I can.  I stand on my porch and watch the snow geese in their perfect formation.   I drive the levee roads and study the gentle ripple of the winter river.  Books comfort me.  A bowl of raspberries reminds me of spring at home.  I peel a mandarin orange and sigh at its exquisite blend of tang and sweet.  I wish my siblings the best of days via text and smile at the instant click of appreciation  from the casual iPhone users.  

On my drive today, I marveled at the exponential increase of birds in the Delta.  Geese forage in the fields.  Ducks drift down the San Joaquin, the Mokelumne, and the Sacramento.  Hawks perch on the power lines.  I slowed to search for egrets in the inlets.  A crane rose from a marshy meadow; I stopped to follow its graceful flight.

When I came home, I pulled the Christmas decorations down and stowed them in the cupboard for another year.  This simple, expedient task did not lighten my mood.  I sat in my rocker, in my little nook, staring at the art on my walls.  This beautiful land teems with life and intriguing differences from my landlocked past.  So much promise surrounds me,   I closed my eyes.  I counted my blessings.  After a few minutes, I rose and went into my tiny kitchen to start my dinner.

It’s the ninth day of the ninety-seventh month of My Year Without Complaining.  Life continues.

A ship headed to Stockton on a foggy morning, January 2022.

2 thoughts on “Fog

  1. Tom

    This was lovely. Last week when I went to church in Pinole, there were four deer feasting on the hillside grass, less than 50 yards from my car. There were also about 30 turkeys just south of the deer and they were raising a ruckus! It was absolutely wonderful!

  2. ccorleyjd365 Post author

    Nature offers much solace for those who pause to see. Thank you for giving me your vision.


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