NPR fills the air of my house with the sounds of Sinatra for the second time this morning. I’ve been awake for two hours.
Today, I will clean, cook, and dance around in my grey sweats to the sounds emitting from Spotify. Brian will tile the new shower. The scents of kale, carrots, and cranberries will waft through the house. Occasionally I will slide onto the little wooden chair that I got from Jay and Joanna, which stands in front of Joanna’s secretary. I will send an email, peruse Social Media, or read news sites.
Before rising this morning, I reflected back on the last two years, back to October 2013 when Joanna died and I formulated this odyssey. The intervening events marched through my mind, a long litany of powerful happenings which catapulted me through twenty-three months of striving to live joyfully.
I do not occupy the space that I planned to inhabit at this point. I have lost so much. But so many people remain faithful to me; so many people give to me tremendously even in the absence of any legal, moral, or ethical obligation for what they do. Unexpected kindnesses sustain me.
Blessings abound. I make no complaint. Everything that I have experienced has led me to this moment and though it might not have been the moment which I envisioned for myself, I dwell within it and make it my own.