The alarm rings in three hours so I should be sleeping.
My brain calls me, beckons, pours waves of emotion over me. I formulate one immutable after another, trying to explain this spot on the calendar where I have landed. It wouldn’t be this but for that. It must be like this because see now, look here.
Fill in the verbs.
I struggle to my feet and grope for water. The muscles of my calves need to stretch and I give them that luxury, feeling the cramping ease. Four o’clock hovers and yet I’m rolling the days over and over in my mind, examining each second, reliving the hours, turning the pages and taking off my glasses to peer closer.
What did I miss the first time around? What could I have done? What could I have said?
People march from the room casting looks back over their shoulders. I turn out the light and let the echoes of their departures drift to me. The door slams, over and over. I reach for the lamp, cast its light into the room, and see the angel watching me.
Under her gentle eyes I fall asleep.