Sometimes Life Just Plain S*cks

Okay, now, I realize you might be thinking — wait a dolgarn minute here little missy, isn’t that title sort of. . . Complaining?

Au contraire, mes amis!  In fact, the title of this passage merely reflects reality.

Yesterday my wonderful family medicine doctor looked me straight in the eye and unwittingly quoted advice that his nurse had already tendered:

There’s nothing wrong with your thyroid.  You need to get back on a healthy diet and LOSE TEN POUNDS!

I realize that I am not overweight, but  consider this: The non-disabled person should be able to bear 100% of his (or her) weight on each leg.  I’m not good at math, but with impaired legs, I know that my ability to bear weight correspondingly lessens.  Even the math-impaired can concede that less weight will be easier to bear.

Twenty-four hours after Doc T admonished me in regards to giving up all sweets once again, I got the brutal pronouncement from The Life-Saving Cardiologists Up North that now I have to give up CAFFEINE.

Holy Mother Murgatroyd!

Hence, my pronouncement in an email late this afternoon:  My life seems to be effectively over, so I suppose a sense of humor might be in order.

But my life has not ended.  I swore off sweets before now, and I can do it again.  From March 1, 2008 to March 1, 2009, I lost 45 pounds.  Over the next twelve months, I lost another 35.  I’ve done this before now; I can do it again, and I will.  Stay-tuned for updates.  It’s only 10 pounds, people.  I lost 80 pounds in twenty-four months and kept 87.5% of it off for four years. I can lose ten pounds in two or three months, and keep it off for four decades.  Or, to be  precise, 43 years.

As for coffee; well, suffice it to say, my record stands at thirty-two consecutive weeks without caffeine.  Those thirty-two weeks commenced when I found out I was two weeks pregnant and ended when I safely delivered  Patrick Charles Corley at thirty-four weeks gestation.  He turned twenty-four this year; do the math.  So it has certainly been a while, but I’m a tough old broad: I can do it.

Sometimes, life just plain s*cks.  But, in the immortal words of killerblood900 (free JPG download, deviantart.), when life gives you lemons, you have options.

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5 thoughts on “Sometimes Life Just Plain S*cks

    1. ccorleyjd365 Post author

      Heart condition being cantankerous. Will wear monitor for a few days, meet with cardio guy, assess. It’s all good. This is life, no?

      Reply
  1. Pat

    They could just shoot me now. I could not give up caffeine. No way. I am so sorry for you. Totally unfair. OMG! Ugh! What other comment can I make? And that includes not just coffee, but tea and chocolate? How does one get out of bed without caffeine? Oh, Corinne, this is awful news. See, I’m complaining for you, so you don’t have to. 😀

    Reply
  2. ccorleyjd365 Post author

    After court in Liberty tomorrow, I get a monitor. I have worn one on numerous occasions; NBD. Next week, I see the cardiologist. I will inquire full-force as to the precise parameters of the prohibition. I WILL NOT GIVE UP CHOCOLATE (see meme).

    But I might refine my tastes in it even further. When life gives you lemons, demand dark chocolate.

    Reply

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